Why Vanilla Will Never Be My Favourite Flavour

“I am an Alpha; a sexually orientated service submissive was strong primal tendencies. I am looking for an experienced, older Dom/Master who is preferably lifestyle.”

Should be reasonably straightforward right? Well no.

My search for my Dom has become long and interesting. I started searching first on here. But I found that (unsurprisingly) men don’t seem to be what they say they are. Very often they think they can fool me. Usually they can’t and we don’t meet. I used to think that here would be a great place to meet them. In reality I have pretty much given up on that and have looked for alternatives on other sites.

So I joined a vanilla site which has got a bit of a reputation for being where the kinky people hang out. I made my profile very obvious, saying what I was about, what I was looking for. I joined in the hope of meeting a fully fledged Dom but maybe it was also in the back of my mind that I could meet someone with potential who I could ‘bring on’ so to speak.

Of course I expected the inevitable responses. But that’s fine; they are easy to spot and even easier to delete. I’ve also had the intelligent ones with kinky leanings. They are interesting. How kinky I ask? What have you done? What would you like to do? Alas these guys have got themselves all worked up over their bit of vanilla kink in (strictly) the bedroom. I think those men perhaps underestimate me and think that they can blag it, possibly because they are smart. More probably because they think I’m a typical female who isn’t as experienced as they are. Oh if only they knew.

Their messages to me read thusly…’sex’, ‘sex’, ‘blow jobs’ and urm ‘sex’.

But the magic word which they fail to grasp is ‘control’.

This class of men I think are probably the worst. They will either tell a bare-faced lie in order to get me into bed (‘No I really do want a LTR, I’m not in it for casual sex’ – interesting one that. And unusual to meet someone so promiscuous who was perhaps the most vanilla guy I had EVER met) or the other extreme is when I pull out having received the aforementioned message and they go a liddle bit cray-cray.

And then sometimes you do meet a genuine kinkster. I’ve just met one as it happens. So far he has impressed me greatly by not talking about sex from the get go and actually calling me out on some of my behaviours (which was deserved). This is novel. Oh and he hasn’t blown smoked up my ass once about how I look. That’s pretty much unique. Maybe he has discovered a magic formula for getting subs that I have been totally unaware of.

I don’t know what’s going to happen with this guy. And maybe that doesn’t matter. I too had been searching for the winning formula; the best and most sure fire way to meet my Dom coupled with the best and most surefire way of weeding out the unsuitable, the fakes and the posers.

I think it’s dawning on me now that it doesn’t matter. I’m tired of talking to the vanillas who think they are kinky. They’re not and they never will be; the bottom line is they would’ve discovered it for themselves by now if they were the genuine article. I’m tired of talking to them and seeing their glassy eyed stare as I speak frankly about kink. You can see it in their eyes; a woman discussing anal, deep throating, being tied up: it all get’s a bit too much for them. It’s at that point I begin to feel a sense of pity.

I began my search knowing exactly what I was looking for; an experienced older Dom who was ‘lifestyle’. I altered that criteria when it became apparent that one wasn’t forthcoming to include the ‘kink curious’. Fortunately, in the end I was lucky enough to find my Master. And I am incredibly grateful.

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